So.. Christmas has been put to bed for another year. I have always hated Christmas. I hated Christmas a little less this year... Christmas with my family was always a time when we all got together at my Grandma's house and it was wasn't about gift giving. It was about spending time together. Grandma always gave us gifts that she had made, be it a jar of creamed corn she had canned or homemade candy.. those gifts came from her heart and were so much more meaningful. We would have a big meal and play games and sometimes my Grandma would break out the homemade grape wine and she would get the little Flintstones jelly jars and give all us kids a sip of her wine. We thought we were big stuff drinking our wine lol. Then she would go in the front room and put on some music and dance with us. She was amazing.. I miss her so much. When she died everything changed. The family was fighting and some didn't speak to each other anymore. We still had family get togethers but not all the family came.
Then I stepped out of line and pissed the family off.. lol. So no more family Christmas for you young lady. Normally I always spend Christmas alone. Sitting in the house pouting and feeling sorry for myself, but I didn't do that this year. This year I cooked Christmas dinner and had my kids, granddaughter, brother and some close friends over. It was really nice to have the house full of people. Some of them I choose to be around.. some of then no so much... Christmas day I spent with Trishalicious and her family. We had breakfast and I watched them all open gifts.. I was so surprised when they handed gifts my way. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.. not that gifts are important to me because they're not. I think way to much importance is put on what to buy people for Christmas and how much it's going to cost. I was warm and fuzzy because they cared enough to think about me and make me feel welcomed and included.
Later some of us went to Trisha's sister Loni's house for dinner. We sat around outside by the fire and had a few drinks.. ok.. I had a whole bottle of RumChata.. lol. And we talked and we laughed .. it was great. Very relaxing.. no pressures.. it was a nice Christmas.. do you know why? Because I LET myself enjoy it. It's great being an adult (well.. sometimes its great.. lol) and being able to choose my family. Family is not always about blood.. I think for 2013 I'm going to choose the people I associate with more carefully.
And for 2013 I will be able to spend more time with my newly found real family... my western family and hopefully my southern family too if I can every open the door on my brothers heart.. So Christmas for me this year marks the end of so many things in my past.. and so starts new beginnings.. where will this new road lead me?
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